


I miss you.

by dreyars



Series: Haikyuu!! Rarepairs Week [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 17:09:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3617682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreyars/pseuds/dreyars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when you move to another country to follow your dreams in college, but the person you've been dreaming of refuses to follow you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I miss you.

**Author's Note:**

> Haikyuu!! Rarepairs Week Day 2 : Distance

Ennoshita found him sitting on the floor of his bedroom, ears covered in headphones that looked much too large as he played a game on the television in front of him.  Fuku’s mom had let him in, smiling and telling him that she was so thankful he had come.  Even if she hadn’t called, Ennoshita had planned on coming anyway.  Fukunaga had been even more quiet than normal since Ennoshita told him that he had been accepted in to that film program in Seattle.

\---

They had been video chatting on a Thursday night, just as they always had since they started getting close.  Fukunaga had looked so happy when he first answered the call, sucking on a piece of sour candy that Ennoshita had sent him as a gift.  He couldn’t wait to tell him, he was so excited.  He hadn’t even told his parents or friends at school yet.

Ennoshita wanted him to be the first one to know.

“Shouhei!” Ennoshita always called his name when they first started their calls.  Just to make sure Fuku was listening.

And he was. Fukunaga nodded, his tongue pressing against the side of his cheek as he tried to enjoy the sourness of his candy.

“ _I got in._ ”

Fuku’s face dropped at that. He frowned, his entire face contorting into a sad look that Ennoshita had never seen from him before.  He was so quiet, but Ennoshita didn’t miss the mumbled “what?”

“Shouhei, I got in to the program in Seattle.  I leave in May to go find a place to live and classes start at the beginning of June for my group.  I just found out this morning and I wanted you to be the first to know.

Fukunaga’s jaw clenched, and all he said was ‘oh’ before his screen went black.  Ennoshita huffed when he noticed Fuku’s icon had also changed to offline.  It was a few minutes before the icon lit up green again, signaling that Fuku was available to chat again.

It was still another few minutes before Fuku sent him a message.

_Fukunaga Shouhei : srry. internt down. cant video anymore_

_Fukunaga Shouhei : congratulations too…so exciting_

\---

That was over a week ago.  Ennoshita couldn’t make it to Tokyo that weekend as he had captainly duties for another couple months still.  It was barely December, but he knew that the reason Fukunaga had been so upset was because he would be leaving.  Well, he didn’t know it for sure, but the timing of it all heavily indicated that his boyfriend was in fear of being left behind.

Ennoshita plopped beside him on the floor, smiling to himself when Fukunaga jumped.  He didn’t turn to look at him however, simply continuing to play his game until his character died.  Ennoshita had been resting his head on Fukunaga’s shoulder, watching his bony fingers work over the buttons on the controller.  He let out a soft sigh when Fukunaga finally moved, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close.  Ennoshita returned the gesture, placing a kiss on his shoulder as well.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re upset?”

Fukunaga tensed, the hand wrapped around Ennoshita’s back twisting up in the side of his shirt as he shook his head.

“Is it because I decided to go to Seattle?”

“You got into programs in Tokyo.”  Fukunaga barely opened his mouth when he spoke, but Ennoshita still managed to make out his mumbles.

“You’ve known all along that I wanted to go to the one in Seattle.  Well, the one I really wanted was in California, but they turned me down.”

Fukunaga nodded, his hand tightening on Ennoshita’s side.  He leaned down, kissing Ennoshita’s cheek just beside his ear.  “I don’t want you to go.”

“You can come with me.”

Fukunaga shook his head, his arm falling limp as he pulled it away from Ennoshita’s back.

“The University of Washington is still accepting applications, if you work to get it in, I can help you get everything in order to move by May.”

“No.”

“Come on, it would be great. Imagine living together in Seattle. All that rainy weather is what you like-”

“I said no.”

Ennoshita stopped, his own arm falling away from Fukunaga’s back.  He was shocked with how stern Fukunaga got with him when normally he just agreed.  Fukunaga almost looked angry with his eyebrows drawn close together as he stared at the ground in front of him.  But as he pulled his knees up and hid his face behind his arms, he let out his first sniffle.

“I don’t want you to go.”

Ennoshita reached out, pressing a hand to Fukunaga’s shoulder even as it tensed up under his touch.  He tried to rub soothing circles into his back, but with every pass, Fukunaga’s shoulders shook more violently.

“Shouhei, I have to go.  It will be good for my future career.”

“But I don’t want you to.” Fukunaga’s voice came out muffled and thick, and his statement was punctuated with a sob-like hiccup.

“And I want you to come with me.”

“No.”

Ennoshita pulled back, scooting away from Fukunaga to lean against his bed.  Fukunaga didn’t move, head still propped on his knees as his arms wrapped around himself.

“Do you want me to stay right now? Or go home?”  Ennoshita sighed, fingers pressing against his temples as he felt the beginnings of a headache began to form.  “Because I don’t want to upset you anymore.”

Fukunaga simply presented a hand for Ennoshita to hold.  Ennoshita grabbed it, yanking Fukunaga’s arm to drag him across the floor.  He pulled until Fukunaga displayed his face, puffy, red, and wet.  Ennoshita sat him on his lap, holding him as close as he could with Fukunaga’s mother downstairs, and kissed him as he wiped away his tears.

\----

The months leading up to May passed quickly as Ennoshita and Fukunaga completed their final year of high school.  They both had volleyball and exit exams and graduation.  On top of it all, Ennoshita spent many of his weekends in supplementary English lessons, hoping to up his proficiency in the language before he made the big move.  He saw less and less of Fukunaga as the date got closer, and he hated it because he realized it was probably all his fault.

Ennoshita’s father was going to come with him to Seattle and stay just as long as it took for him to find an apartment and get settled in.  This move was going to be full of new experiences and challenges for him, and yet the one Ennoshita found the most daunting was finding a place to live.

He was accompanied to the airport by his mother and Fukunaga.  His mother cried as they stood before the security checkpoint, squishing him to her chest as she bemoaned the fact that it was just like losing her baby boy for the first time.

Fukunaga didn’t cry.  He just looked at him with that blank stare he always had when he was trying to cover up how he was feeling.  He simply grabbed Ennoshita by the shoulders, kissing him with every unspoken word and emotion that he had ever felt.  Fukunaga let go when they began hearing Ennoshita’s father cough, but not before he whispered in Ennoshita’s ear.

“I love you.”

Ennoshita was so stunned that he couldn’t respond.  His father grabbed him by the elbow, dragging him through security while Fukunaga watched him with a sad smile on his face.

\----

It took him the entire flight and most of the layover in Los Angeles for him to figure out that the best response to Fukunaga’s statement was to simply say “I love you, too.”

But Fukunaga didn’t answer when he called.  So he said it to his voicemail instead.

\----

For the first three months, it went well.  The time difference was a bitch, but they managed to work it out well enough that they could always find a time at least once a week to video chat.  Ennoshita was glad to see that Fukunaga looked okay. For the most part at least.  He usually looked tired, but that was probably due to the fact that they always chatted when it was around midnight in Tokyo. 

It was all going well until the fight.  It was their first big fight. Well, their first fight ever if you didn’t count the one time Ennoshita forgot that Fukunaga didn’t like fish and threw a hissy fit for a few minutes before coming back to apologize.  But that was nothing compared to this.

He asked Ennoshita to come home.

“You know I can’t do that. Not until the winter break.”

“Come home.”

Ennoshita sighed, rubbing his hand over his face as he tried to reason with his boyfriend. “Shouhei, it’s too expensive to get a ticket to Japan right now. I need to stay here.”

“ _I_ need you _here_.” Fukunaga tried to hide it with the poor lighting and his usual stoic face, but he was troubled.

“What’s wrong?”

“Come home.”

“Shouhei…”

“Chikara.”

“I can’t.”

Fukunaga whined as his arms wrapped around his body and he leaned forward over the table. He let out a sniff and his shoulders shook as he mumbled out another “Come home….”

“You’re making this really difficult on me, Shouhei.”

Fukunaga looked up from the table and stuck out one hand to type.

_Fukunaga Shouhei : you dnt know_

Ennoshita sighed, knowing this was going to be a long conversation now that Fukunaga had begun typing to respond. “Then tell me.”

_Fukunaga Shouhei : cnt_

_Fukunaga Shouhei : need you here now_

_Fukunaga Shouhei : too far_

“I’m not going to tell you again that I can’t come home.  Not right now. We’re about to have a big project due, and it’s still another couple months until the break. I’ll be home then.”

Ennoshita didn’t even realize Fukunaga had moved his hand towards the mouse until his face contorted in a distraught anger before his screen went black, signaling the end of the call.

He received one last message before Fukunaga went offline.

_Fukunaga Shouhei : youre nver here_

\----

It was too much for Ennoshita to deal with.  First, that message that Fukunaga sent. Then, no response after Ennoshita tried to ask what he meant. Sure, he couldn’t be physicaly there, but _never there?_

The notion made Ennoshita furious.  That Fukunaga thought that everything he had done as a boyfriend was nothing for the past year.  The fact that he hadn’t heard from his boyfriend in a month would have been enough to set him off, but to have the silence proceeded by _that_.

It was too much.

Just way too much.

And Ennoshita loved him.

He was pissed off and angry with him, but he loved him.

He just wished he would answer his goddamn phone.

Or Fukunaga calling him would suffice, as he found.

Ennoshita answered the phone with a simple ‘hello?’, despite the fact that he already knew it was Fuku.  He tried to keep his hurt out of his voice by staying distant.  He just hoped it worked long enough for Fuku to explain himself.

“Help me.”

Fukunaga’s voice was small, hurt, and washed out in the commotion of wherever he was right now.

“Shouhei? Where are you?”

“Airport.”

“Airport, what airport?”

“Los Angeles.”

Ennoshita sucked in a deep breath, already standing up from his bed and heading towards his roommates’ bedroom.

“Shouhei, hold on.” Ennoshita pressed his phone to his shoulder before knocking on his friend’s door.  When he received permission to enter, he stuck his head in to see his roommate studying. “Going anywhere today?”

“Nah, maybe to the store later. What’s up?”

“Can you take me to the airport?”

\---

60 minutes later Ennoshita was on a plane next to a snoring old man and a child who looked barely old enough to travel by herself.  He had given Fukunaga his roommate’s number in case he needed help and promised to be there within 3 hours. 

Fukunaga sounded panicked when he called, as if he was in some sort of danger.  In reality, while the situation was terrifying, he really just hadn’t planned his trip very well.  He managed to get a ticket from Tokyo to LA, but once he arrived in LAX, he was overwhelmed with all the signage and noise and couldn’t figure out where to go to fly to Ennoshita.  Hell, Ennoshita didn’t know that Fukunaga even had a passport.

He turned on his phone as soon as the plane touched down, somehow managing to rush off the plane before most other people so that he could begin his search.  He hadn’t brought anything with him apart from a wallet and his watch, so he was able to slip out without any cumbersome baggage.

With his phone pressed to his ear, Ennoshita looked around for any sign of Fukunaga.  He dialed again when his boyfriend’s voicemail picked up, his heart rate slowly increasing as he circled around.

Why did this airport have to be so damn big?

Ennoshita cursed to himself as he ran a hand through his hair.  He _told_ Fukunaga not to leave the gate area.  He told him which airline he was on so that he could stay nearby. He told him to keep his phone on so that he would be able to find him.

_Where was he?_

Ennoshita shouted when he was knocked forward, barely managing to keep himself upright as all the air in his body was pushed out of him.  He was about to turn around and punch whoever tried to attack him before he felt warm tears staining the shoulder of his shirt and skinny arms wrapping around him from behind.

“God, Shouhei. You’re so stupid.”

Fukunaga squeezed his stomach and Ennoshita made him let go long enough for him to turn around and hug him properly.

“What were you thinking?”

Fukunaga shook his head, pressing his face into Ennoshita’s shoulder as he squeezed tighter.

“Come on. Let’s see if we can get a ticket back tonight.”

Fukunaga froze, letting Ennoshita walk out of his arms as he stood there.  When Ennoshita turned to grab his hand, he gave him a questioning look. “Where?”

“Seattle. That’s why you came, right?”

Fukunaga nodded carefully, allowing himself to be pulled along behind Ennoshita.

\----

Six hours later, Ennoshita’s now grumpy roommate had them picked up and back home.  Ennoshita laid in bed, Fukunaga’s head pressed over his heart.

“Will you ever tell me what brought this trip on? And the month of silence? I feel like it’s more than you missing me.”

Fukunaga shrugged, fingers drawing lines against the right side of Ennoshita’s chest as he enjoyed the deep vibrations of his voice.

“I need you to tell me.”

“Why?”

“Then I can understand.”

Fukunaga sighed, pressing himself up to sit beside Ennoshita. He stared down at him until his eyes watered and he had to rub the back of his hand over them to prevent the tears from falling.

With a broken voice, he quietly mumbled out the word ‘sick.’

“Who’s sick?”

Fukunaga shook his head, indicating that Ennoshita wasn’t understanding. He turned a finger towards himself and pointed it at the center of his chest. “Not good enough.”

“What are you talking about?”

Ennoshita tried to sit up, but Fukunaga held him down with a hand on his shoulder. Next he felt Fukunaga’s cold fingers brushing his hair away from his forehead.

“You’ll forget.” Fukunaga removed his hands, tucking them under his legs as he stared at Ennoshita. “Find someone. And forget.”

“That’s not true.” Ennoshita managed to sit up this time, no longer being barred by his boyfriend’s hands. “I’d never forget you. You’re amazing.”

“It’s too far.” Fukunaga wiped a hand along his cheek, trying to hide his shame. “Miss you. I don’t want you to forget.”

“You can still come here. We can try to get you into the University of Washington still for the Spring. Then you won’t have to miss me or worry about me forgetting. Even though I’d never do that.”

Fukunaga sighed, sliding off the bed to grab his backpack.  He shifted through the contents before grabbing a handful of papers and shoving them into Ennoshita’s hands.

There were three in total, each from the admissions office of the University of Washington.  Fukunaga’s name was at the top of each, and below that, a standardized rejection letter that indicated no one had seriously looked at the applications Fukunaga had sent in.

“Shouhei, I didn’t know…why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t want you to know.” Fukunaga sat back down, head hung low as he fiddled with the bottom of his shirt. “Dumb. Can’t get in.”

“Shouhei…” Ennoshita stretched out, pulling Fukunaga to him again.  “We can try to work something out. Maybe we can get you a work visa or something…”

“No. It’s okay.” Fukunaga leaned into the hug, allowing himself to be wrapped up.  “Just…needed to see you.”

“How long can you stay?”

Fukunaga pondered the question for a second before answering. “Week?”

“We’ll make the most of it then.”  Ennoshita kissed the top of his head, and Fukunaga leaned up to get a proper kiss.  “And I’ll be back in December for about a month. Will that be enough time?”

Fukunaga made a sour face as if he had just bitten into a lemon.  He shook his head before burying his face into Ennoshita’s shoulder once more.  He laughed when Ennoshita pinched his side, but he still did not lift his face.

Ennoshita sighed, rubbing circles onto his boyfriend’s back as they sat together.  It was only a little bit more time. Three years was all the time his program took, and though it was intensive and lasted all year long, it was still shorter than most programs.  Three more years was all it would take, and then he could move back, and be with Fukunaga once more.

He wished Fukunaga could see that his program was so intense that he didn’t have time for himself, much less time to find someone else that would make him forget.  Ennoshita’s time before Fukunaga’s silence had been split between school, homework, and finding time to talk to him.

But lord how he loved him. Even if he was the most difficult boyfriend on the planet, he would still love him and fight for him.  He knew Fukunaga loved him too.  He knew Fukunaga was impatient and impulsive and that he loved Ennoshita.  He wouldn’t have flown all the way to him if he didn’t.  Ennoshita wished he could have Fukunaga with him and he wanted him to still be waiting for him at the end of his time in college.  He knew it was selfish to ask of such a thing, but for the time being, all he could do was ask Fukunaga to be patient for another two and a half years.

**Author's Note:**

> I DONT KNOW I edited the last paragraph half asleep and probably shouldnt even be posting this right now but here we go.
> 
> I had a friend in high school who went to film school and he wanted to go to either one in Chicago or Seattle and he chose Chicago b/c that one only lasted two years.


End file.
